Michelle Lynne 0:02
Welcome to design for the creative mind, a podcast for interior designers and creative entrepreneurs to run their business with purpose, efficiency and passion. Because, well, every design is different, the process should remain the same. Prepare yourself for some good conversations with amazing guests, a dash of Jesus and a touch of the woowoo. And probably a swear word or two. If you're ready to stop trading your time for money, and enjoy your interior design business. You are in the right place. I'm your host, Michelle Lynn.
Right, well, welcome back to the podcast, everyone. I am so excited to be here. I know I say that all the time. But this is like the best thing I've ever done is like the podcast because I get to meet really cool people. So today, I am super excited to introduce you to Tanya Dalton. She's an author of on purpose, and the joy of missing out. She's a speaker, a business coach for women entrepreneurs and nationally recognized productivity expert. Basically, she's just a badass all around with a really fun personality. So welcome, Tanya. It's so good to it's so good to meet you.
Tanya Dalton 1:19
Thank you. It's so nice to meet you as well. Yes.
Michelle Lynne 1:22
This is like I started my podcast earlier this year. And I didn't I kind of went into it like it and I kind of need to do this. This has been turned out so great. I mean, I get to talk to all sorts of people and your, your books are just amazing. So thank you. I can't wait to share it with the audience.
Tanya Dalton 1:40
Yeah, I'm excited to talk about it. I know exactly what you mean with the podcast, where it's one of those things where you're like, Oh, should I do I do I want to? I have my podcast, which we're now on Episode 200, something of the podcast. And it's so fun because it does it gives you opportunities to meet people and to just to talk and connect. So I love it. Yeah. And
Michelle Lynne 1:59
it's people that you want to talk to. Yes. And what seriously, when I was reading your books, it was like this, this woman understands me, like we could sit down and have cocktails together.
Tanya Dalton 2:14
Thank you. Because that's what I want readers to get out of my books, I want them to feel like I'm sitting on the couch next to them, that maybe I'm the friend who just gives you that little push. It's like you know what you can, you can have a better life, you can do better. And that's what I want that feeling to convey. So the fact that you felt that really means a lot to me,
Michelle Lynne 2:34
Oh, for sure. In fact, I was reading both of them. So the first one is the joy of missing out. And then the one that just came out, I guess last week is called on purpose. And it's the busy Woman's Guide to an extraordinary life of meaning and success. And as I was reading these, and then we'll dig into ask you some questions. But as I was reading these, one of the things I wanted to share with you is that like you so eloquently and succinctly wrapped up decades of like self development seminars that I've gone to like retreats and books that I've read like Tony Robbins, Gabby Bernstein, Joe Dispenza, like all of this, and just like this little field guide that I can pick up and put down and pick up and put down as needed for the rest of my life. Just as a reminder,
Tanya Dalton 3:22
I love that. Yeah, I love all those people that you just mentioned. So that means a lot that you feel that way, I actually have people who, with the joy of missing out, they said they use it almost like a magic eight ball in the morning. Like they turned, they flip to a random page. And then they read kind of what the message is that I talked about on that page. And the book was written that way. But the fact that people use it that way, I think is so inspiring, because we're like, I just feel like I get a little bit of you each day, where it's like, alright, you can do this, and here's how you're gonna do it. Kind of a fee. Oh,
Michelle Lynne 3:51
that's very cool. Yeah, it's like having a girlfriend that you can just pick up the phone and call.
Tanya Dalton 3:56
Yes, yeah. And that's what I love, I love really taking things that are really complicated things that feel difficult, and really breaking them down and making them really easy, really simple. Because at the heart of it all, it's not rocket science, it's really not a lot of these things that we talk about are things that we either know we should be doing, or they're things that are so easy to implement, it becomes a no brainer, like, oh, I can totally do that. And I think that's the thing. It's really giving women the next step, it's, you know, helping them understand that those actions they have to take are not, they don't have to take them there. They're going to want to take them because they're so easy and simple to do. It doesn't have to be re shifting or reorganizing your life to make it happen. I think that's the biggest mistake people have when it comes to productivity. They they feel like there's this like magic system and it sits front and center. And then they're supposed to like wrap their life around that like they're supposed to bend and twist and contort themselves to fit the system. And I think that's all wrong. I think it's really about you and your priorities front and center. And then we go Create the system around you Around your strengths around your weaknesses, making it really work for you.
Michelle Lynne 5:04
Because everybody's so different, but we complicate things.
Tanya Dalton 5:07
Oh, and then we love to complicate things
Michelle Lynne 5:10
we do the brain is just like getting gets in the way on in your on purpose book, you were talking about perfectionism, and then procrastination and and then just like paralysis is that kind of ties in with, with what you were just saying from your first book of getting Yes, getting things organized. It's just, and I'm dealing with individuals, women, mostly who are the same way with their business with their life? Like if you can't do it perfect. They don't do it at all.
Tanya Dalton 5:37
Yeah, well, perfection becomes this mask that procrastination wears, we blame? Well, it has to be a certain way or it can't, I can't put it out in the world yet, when we should just say you know what, this is how it is done works, right. And so we use, we use perfectionism as a way to hold us back to an eye. There's this little graph that I share in the book, where it's like perfectionism leads to procrastination, which leads to paralysis. And that's when we feel stuck. And we believe that the opposite of stuck is unstuck. There's some kind of magical Oh, the opposite of stuck is unstuck. The opposite of stuck is action. It's taking one small action, a tiny action and anybody action, anything to get you moving forward. Because then once you do that, you get that momentum, you get that Springboard behind you, and it becomes so much easier.
Michelle Lynne 6:28
It's like working out as soon as I get my shoes on. I'm okay, but get your shoes on. It's shorter than the actual workout.
Tanya Dalton 6:35
Yes. Same thing with things like going to the dentist, once you make the appointment, you're gonna go it's making the appointment. Yeah, right? You do, it's, it's really the tiny steps that are really the incremental things that really make a difference, laying your clothes out the night before, right? That's a tiny thing to do. But that gets you to get dressed or for the next
Michelle Lynne 6:55
year, or to get worked out. Small wins
Tanya Dalton 6:59
at your work. And they end up being these like giant we this is how we accomplish big things is through these tiny steps. It's not giant leaps. It's a multitude of tiny steps to get us to that giant leap.
Michelle Lynne 7:10
I love that. And I generally say that perfection is perception. Like what's perfect for you isn't going to be perfect for me. So why are you trying to bust your ass getting it, quote unquote, perfect? When really, it's just an excuse to hide behind not doing anything? So I love that.
Tanya Dalton 7:30
That's absolutely true.
Michelle Lynne 7:31
So so you're so your book is called on purpose? And like, what does it mean, to live? On purpose?
Tanya Dalton 7:40
Yeah, I like that question. Because I feel like the word purpose has a lot of weight to it, doesn't it? It feels like oh my gosh, when I decide what my purpose is, that's like now and forever. And it feels just really, really deep voice. And the thing is, is living on purpose isn't about changing who you are, it's rising up to the best version of you. It's really living to something bigger than today. It's looking towards the horizon and seeing that there's a future with you in it, which is a big thing that we talk about in this book that we have a hard time seeing ourselves in the future. But it's seeing ourselves in the future and living bigger than today. Knowing and connecting the actions that you do right now today are connected to you in the future a week down the road. 10 weeks down the road, 10 years down the road, all of that is really connected. So that's really what that whole idea of on purpose is about. I started writing this book as a goal setting book. And I talked about this in the introduction. And when I really peel back the layers and I really took a look at it. It's life is not about goal setting. It's really not it's goals are the vehicle to get us to that life. We want to that dream life that we're looking for, whether that's you know, in business or in our personal life. It really is utilizing goals to get there. But goals are not the goal at all. It's really what do I want out of life? And that's generally something tied to happiness, something that's tied to our joy. Yeah.
Michelle Lynne 9:13
Well, and he would also mentioned that I'm going to read something that really really resonated with me. It said did you what you wrote is Did you know that of all the emotions people try hardest to avoid? Try hardest to avoid as regret. We can handle anger, frustration and resentment, but we will do just about anything to avoid regret. It's a powerful tool to understand because we can use it to get in touch with our future selves. And it hit me because I was at a Tony Robbins event. And what he said was Imagine meeting the person you could have become at the end of your life what would you regret the most? And it was just a such an interesting way to to reframe it and Tony I'm not kidding you. At that point. I knew I was gonna have to drop my otter like, I didn't know my daughter at the time. But I was like, What did I regret? It was like not being a mom. Like, our goal was to have children. But we struggled with infertility for quite a while. And we just figured, okay, God doesn't have that in our path. Right? So you saying living on purpose, it's not just letting every day happen to you. It's like guiding the boat and beginning with the end in mind and, and giving yourself that grace. I like, it was just like, holy crap that just smacked me across the face. That's
Tanya Dalton 10:30
what I do occasionally give you
Michelle Lynne 10:34
no way. There's no bruises left.
Tanya Dalton 10:38
We all need that though. Because we do we tend to live our life on autopilot. Or we have this false belief that this is just the way life is. And you know, talking about regret, what I think is so fascinating, is when people die. Their biggest regrets are not about the things that they did. It's not the mistakes, it's not the failures, it's the things they didn't do, that they didn't take the opportunity of doing. And so that's the thing that I think is really powerful is regret really does allow us to push up against it, to use that as a springboard. We will do anything to avoid regret, we really will. So if we can understand that, and this is what I love about what I teach, it's, it's really about understanding how your brain works. And then let's hack that, let's let's make our brain work for us. When we talk about this is how our brain works. It's it's so empowering. Yes. Because
Michelle Lynne 11:30
you had some very fascinating brain research in the book.
Tanya Dalton 11:34
Oh, yeah, I love like, I'm such a nerd when it comes to like,
Michelle Lynne 11:38
Yes, I'm a total geek, like I love AI, and you broke it down so readily. Like, I think it's just like, you took it and you explained it in a manner that anybody can understand and really recognize. Let me interrupt myself to take a quick moment to thank satin off Insurance Agency for sponsoring this episode of the design for the creative mind podcast, their support and understanding of the interior design, decorating and home staging industries is unrivaled. Satin off understands what our businesses do, and they provide insurance that lets me sleep at night. Yep, this is the firm that I use. And they will do the same for your sleep habits. And your business too. They're more than an insurance agency, they are an extension of my business, they take care of the worry, because they are the experts, which allows me and my team breathing room to do what we do best designed beautiful spaces, you can find their contact information below in the show notes, give them a call today. So let's like you were talking about how you have we have, we all have a hard time investing in our future selves. So let's let's dive into that just a little bit
Tanya Dalton 12:51
that I love talking about this, because I think this is a thing. Again, when we understand how our brain works, it normalizes things for us. And we understand that, okay, there's not something wrong with me, this is how my brain works. So once I understand that, I can shift that. So there's incredible research. And there's a lot of research about how we see ourselves in the future, and how we see ourselves as strangers. So one of my favorite studies is this fMRI study where they study how your brain the different sections of your brain light up, and they ask participants about themselves and these certain areas of their brain light up, well, then they ask them about themselves in the future. Now, when we say in the future, we're not talking like 50 years, it can be 10 years, it can be 10 days. But when we speak about ourselves, in the future, a different section of our brain lights up. But here's what's most interesting when you talk about and they had these participants talk about Natalie Portman and Matt Damon, when they spoke about these stars who are strangers to them, the same area of their brain with light up as with the area that would light up when they talked about themselves in the future. So in other words to our brain, us in the future is not us. It's someone who looks and acts and talks like us, as us, but it's not really us. And this is why we have a hard time investing in ourselves today, because that person in the future is going to benefit isn't me. So why not eat the cookie instead of the carrot? Why not splurge on the expensive pair of shoes instead of putting money into the 401k? Why worry about your marketing budget, and instead go and do something else? Right? We have a hard time because our brain was why
Michelle Lynne 14:27
I got into credit card debt when I was in my 20s absolutely knows that it's so amazing, because we just don't recognize ourselves. We don't. And I think it's so bizarre.
Tanya Dalton 14:43
It's crazy, isn't it? And in fact, I give a follow up study to it because I'm like, I know you don't believe me. I know that you're thinking this is not true. But I mean, there's numerous studies that show that this is how our brain works. And so again, when we understand that we can first of all, we can forgive ourselves Oh, those mistakes I made in the past the things that I did that I didn't invest in myself, I understand why I did that. Okay, I did that. Let's move on from that. And let's move forward. Now that I know this, I can be more cognizant, and I can really pay attention to how I'm thinking. So a lot of it is to this idea of let's forgive ourselves what we've done in our past, the first section of the book is about reflection. And I think it's really important too, because people don't want to reflect because it's painful, it's hard, it's difficult, it's one of those things that we'll do almost anything to avoid, we'd rather clean the cat's litter box than to think about the things we didn't like. But honestly, it's the things that we don't like in our past. That's the regret that we push against. And we step into what we really do want, it's easier to see what we want, based off of what we didn't like in our past. And so that's why I think it's incredibly powerful.
Michelle Lynne 15:52
Absolutely, because everybody can look back and think, oh, I should have done something differently. But then they assign themselves a worth based on that action. And if it's something that you can't, or you can't let me rephrase that, you can control it, but you have to give yourself the grace that it's your brain, and we're not our brain, we can we can totally turn around and take our mind and reprogram it. Oh, that, you know, what would be interesting is like to write yourself write your future self a letter. Because like, I've written my, I've written my past self a letter. But also it's like, Hey, I know you in the future. Like, I know you are a
Tanya Dalton 16:33
badass. Yes. And that's actually one of the ways you can start making those connections, you can start by writing yourself a letter, you can use, there's all kinds of filters on you know, all different kinds of apps where you can actually even project what you're going to look like when you're older. And you can post pictures of yourself older, you can, you can cool like it, let's say you're interested in running a marathon, you can find a picture of someone crossing a finish line, and then just paste your your picture on top of that, right your head on top of that. So you can see yourself, oh, there's me crossing the finish line. This is amazing thing that when our brain makes those connections, it's like, oh, we totally got this. We've got this.
Michelle Lynne 17:10
Yes, because our brain doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination. Really doesn't. Yeah. Which is, which is like, it's interesting, because now that I have my daughter, she's three, and she wants to go play with Coco Mela. Right. And it's because she doesn't know the difference between reality and, and make believe. But it's because our brain doesn't know even though as we grow up, that's the beauty of a vision board.
Tanya Dalton 17:35
Yes, it's visualized. Yeah, that's the thing is, that's one of the ways that we can trick our brain into saying, Oh, I can do this, because a lot of it really is the acknowledgement that this is possible. When we do that we open up the doors, we open up the possibilities. And this is the thing I mean, the book is called the busy Woman's Guide to an extraordinary life of meaning and success. That's the subtitle to onpremise. Because that extraordinary life is absolutely possible, we can stop feeling like it's just an ordinary life. It's little tiny things that we do that make life extraordinary and extraordinary. And happiness is already there. It's already hidden in the cracks and the crevices of your everyday life. It's choosing to see them, it's choosing how you want to view your world. A lot of it really does happen between our ears. Really Yes,
Michelle Lynne 18:24
and it's true, you have to recognize the beauty and acknowledge it. You do. I love that. And so your book, you were talking about how the first part is written about reflection. And then I think the next one is kind of projection. And then like so there's there's taking an AI like who you are, what you want to what you want to do. And then you're talking about how to do it, like aligning your actions with who we are and where we want to go, which I love that because we're all different. And the book is so well written, it's not to you, it's not to me, it's not to Susie or Bobby, it's to anybody and everybody that will open their mind in their heart to taking this and understanding that you control your own life.
Tanya Dalton 19:10
It is it's it's at its heart, I like to say that the book is about the power of choice. Every chapter is about a choice. And so those sections we go through of reflection, projection, action, and alteration. All of those involve choosing making choices, right? We start with reflection, we look backwards, so that then we can move forward. Then we do projection, we decide what is it I want projection answers that question, what is it that I'm really looking for? What does my future look like with me in it, then we get to action, which is how, you know I love all these like books that are out there that are like rah rah, you can do it. And then you close the cover and you're like, Okay, now what I'm like, let's talk about how we're going to do this. Let's give you some action, so that you feel empowered to take the steps to do this. So it's how am I going to do this? And we talked about in the book about this whole idea that you know, we know the A to Z But what's the big two? Why? What's those in between steps to get us from where we are now to where we want to go? And so there's a lot of power and understanding how we're going to accomplish that. And then that last section is about alteration because you know what, like, life needs likeability, Grace, because life is messy, there's going to be detours on your path that you did not anticipate. And that's a that's a wonderful thing. Oftentimes, it's the detours that get us to the life that we really want.
Michelle Lynne 20:27
Yes, and you just have to roll with it. Because things don't happen to you. If you allow them. They happen for you. Yeah, and you just take the reins and, and redirect as needed. And absolutely, that's what I think this book is something that I'll personally be able to pick up again next year. And then again, later, and almost like you said, with the eight ball of the joy of missing out, it's just kind of like, what, what message do I need to have today?
Tanya Dalton 20:55
Yeah, that's how I wrote the book. So it would feel timeless. It's, you know, it's one of those things where and each time you read the book, and this is what I've heard from people, because now the joy of missing out has been out for two years. They're like, I read it the first time, and I loved it. And a lot of them then had their husbands read it, because they were like, this is because really, a lot of what we talk about applies for men, I like to say the book is written for women. And if men want to read it, they totally can. If it works for them, I just say they can twist and turn the words just like we as women have done for 1000s of years with all the literature that's written. You know, because it works for them as well. But really, they're like, the second time I read it, I was in a totally different place, and different things hit me. And then the third time I read, so I have these people who read the book multiple times. And every time they read it, they're getting something different out of it, because you're in a different place in your life. And you're ready for different things. Yeah,
Michelle Lynne 21:47
that's so true. It is so very true. And I encourage our listeners to pick up the books, both of them, actually, because they do go they do go together seamlessly, obviously. I mean, the same person wrote them, and it's coming from the same perspective, it's true. Addressing a little different.
Tanya Dalton 22:06
I mean, they work independently of each other. But I also wanted people who loved the joy of missing out to feel like okay, here's, here's the next step in the puzzle. So you can certainly read them independent of each other, but they really are. They work really all together. Yeah,
Michelle Lynne 22:22
like I love it. Because when when we were first introduced, I went and purchased the joy of missing out and I was like, Oh, look, I recognize the image that's on the front of it from I was telling earlier from Instagram, it was all over the place. And then your publisher or your your somebody sent me the Oh, my publicist, your publicist? Yes, sent me the advanced copy of on purpose. And so I was reading I'm very close together chronologically, and it just was an easy, like back and forth. So yes, yeah. So one thing I did want to ask you kind of changing a little bit of a direction, because you took me by surprise when we were talking or when you were talking about smart goals? Because I've learned and I've taught how to set goals using the smart format as MARP. Will you walk us through your I think it's called impact goal framework goals, because that really shifted my migraine. Yes, well, and
Tanya Dalton 23:21
I've done the same thing for years, I taught SMART goals. But then I was finding that as I was teaching them, I was having to kind of bend them and twist them and really kind of make them work. Which makes sense, because SMART goals came about in the 1980s. And I think if we think about where we were in the 80s, let's not even talk about the fashion of the 80s. Let's talk about where we were in the trough, very different from where we are now, especially just technologically, but just the way the world works is very different. And so I loved with smart goals that it was a really easy, simple framework. I love that it was easy to remember because it's SMA RT, but I just felt like it needed an update. So it's a little homage to smart goals as we move into impact goals. So impact goals stand for. So each letter just like SMART stands for something inspirational, measurable, purpose driven, adaptable, challenging, and timed. So we're good to go through really quickly, each one of those inspirational it needs to inspire you and needs to be tied to something you really want. We have to stop setting goals because we think this is what everybody else is doing. Well, I should lose 10 pounds, because everybody else is doing that, oh, I should do this for my business. Because this is what I see other people doing. Let's really do things that align with what we really want. And let's write them in positive ways. You know, not saying I'm going to quit smoking, but I am a non smoker. Right let's let's phrase things in a positive way already seeing yourself that way in the future. Right connecting that yes, giving yourself that identity. Yes. So that's the I inspirational am measurable. So making sure that our goals can be measured. If our goals are too abstract. It's really hard to measure and we talk in the book about how to really measure goals. We cuz we don't want to get tied up in the numbers, but really looking a lot of times at, you know, our frequency that we're doing these actions we're wanting to doing like if it's healthy eating, measuring that by saying, I would like to make sure I'm making a healthy meal an average of three times a week. Okay, that's a good way to start because that word average gives us a little bit of wiggle room, right? Then we have p, which is purpose driven, which is what the book is all about, is about making sure this is tied to something much bigger than than today, then we have a adaptable, making sure, again, we talked about that with that alteration, you know, section of the book that we need to have that flexibility built in so that we can adjust. You know, one of the things I used to say is that goals are written in pen plans were written in pencil, and I'm like, goal should be erased all the time. Sometimes they no longer work for us. So we need to adapt them and feel okay, doing that. But we also want them to be see challenging, we want to be pushed out of our comfort zone. So we talked about a few ideas of how you can make it adaptable, while still making it challenging. And then that T is timed. Having a deadline, when we don't have a deadline, we don't have anything to push against. And then it all becomes just this never ending Oh, Someday Someday I'll do this. So that makes us so quickly. It does, it really does. So yeah, so that's the impact system in a really, really quick form. We obviously have more depth in the book. But it's just like I said, a refresh and an update on the SMART goals that really works for today's world.
Michelle Lynne 26:31
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Tanya Dalton 27:33
It's and that's the thing is I always want to feel like I'm living my life. And the things I'm speaking about are really are tied to the things that I teach it that there is a bigger purpose to it. So when it came to because honestly, when I first wrote the outline for the book, I wrote down that I was gonna talk about smart goals, because that's what I taught. And so that's the whole idea to like, this is what I've always done. I've taught this a million times, I've got plenty of, you know, trainings I could pull from to write this chapter. And then when I sat down, I was like, why am I why am I doing what I what I've always done, when it's time for these to be updated when it's time for these to be to be modernized, so to speak. And so then I just gave myself some space to really think about what do I love from smart goals? What really like timed that works from smart? Yes, right. All those there's a lot of things that still work. It's just adjusting it. So I'm no longer tweaking SMART goals. So now this works. Holistic, yeah,
Michelle Lynne 28:24
it's just improving on it. It's adding more ingredients to make a better cake.
Tanya Dalton 28:29
Yes, yes.
Michelle Lynne 28:32
That's why I call my so I have a paid program for interior designers. And it's called the interior design business bakery. And my, my copywriter and I came up, she actually came up with it, because she's like, because you're always talking about cooking. And it's always has to do with like baking something. It's like, well, it's a recipe, you know, it's like running a business, here's a recipe. So
Tanya Dalton 28:51
that's the great thing about recipes is that you can adjust them, so they really fit your tastes. And I know that strong business, running things on your terms is incredibly important. As a business owner, myself, I've been an entrepreneur since 2008. I think that's one of the greatest things is we have the power of choice in so many ways. And we forget that we feel like we've painted ourselves into a corner. And then we forget to look up and realize there are no walls. We've never painted ourselves into a corner. As a business owner. There's lots of ways we can shift and change and grow. And it's never too late. It's never, you know, it's never that we've painted ourselves into a corner. I think that's one of the greatest things about being a business owner. And
Michelle Lynne 29:32
I think that that I've known in my heart that I have painted myself into a corner and then you saying that there's no walls. It's so true. As I was reading these things like I I work too much like I love to work, love, love, love. Oh,
Tanya Dalton 29:49
I get that me too. Yeah. And
Michelle Lynne 29:51
it's like one of those things where I need to give myself permission to not feel like I have to on the days that I don't feel it because I didn't go and adopt this Lovely little child to spend all my time working and have her in daycare. It's like, No, it's my choice to stop working at a certain time and go spend time with her and play with her. You know, and then if something's on a deadline, I can get to it later,
Tanya Dalton 30:14
you can make it. And this is a thing for me. I mean, this goes back to that whole conversation we had about regret. I had a season with my business where I had, we I sell a physical product. And the product all arrived, I had a giant warehouse, it was jam packed full of damaged products damaged, if none of them were sellable. I had to do a whole like, we had to tear things apart and reassemble them. And it was a mess. I spent seven, seven days a week, like 14 hour, 1516 hour days, my kids would come off the school bus and go straight to my office to the warehouse. I mean, for several months, that was kind of the life we were living. And at the end of that year, I sat down, I did reflection, and I thought about what did I regret. I felt like a terrible mom. I mean, I felt like a horrible mom, I had not spent nearly as much time really focusing on my kids, everything was about the business. Everything was about that. And these are the things we want to avoid. Were like, oh, I don't want to even think about how bad I feel as a mom. But that one thing. This is years ago, that one thing was what pushed me to then decide that I leave work every day at three o'clock. I work Monday through Thursday, I no longer work Fridays, Fridays are a day off for me and my team, I leave work everyday at three o'clock because of that regret because of that season where I didn't love who I was as a mother. And I'm like you I love to work, like I'm really passionate about what I do. And so it's easy to let work seep into all aspects of my life. But now I have that boundary for myself where it's like, I don't work after three o'clock. Now, if I choose to work after three o'clock, that's a choice I can make. I choose. But that's not something I'm choosing often.
Michelle Lynne 31:54
And you also had to go through and feel that pain to recognize the pleasure that you want to experience. So, so many people will look back and say, Oh, I suck and feel shame and regret. But then leave it at that. Right? Take the lesson that you need from the experience that you had,
Tanya Dalton 32:12
the pain is the most fertile ground of all, because you're right, I could have just said I'm the worst one ever. And that's the end of the story moving on. And instead I said Why am I doing what you're doing? Yeah, why am I the worst film ever? Well, because lots of reasons. Mainly because you're spending all day at the office, right. And so when I clarify that, that's a lesson I took, I don't want to I That's not how I want a mother, I get to choose how I mother. So now I make the choice of I leave work at three o'clock. Monday. Love
Michelle Lynne 32:42
it, love it love it, I'm gonna take my cue from that, because I'm working on the same thing, three o'clock, we just put Genevieve into a different school, she gets off at 330 I don't want to keep her an after school care. So I love it. And those of you listening, this is my accountability. I like
Tanya Dalton 32:59
that. It's really it isn't setting boundaries for yourself. And a lot of times we have to we talk about this in the joy of missing out, we have to communicate our boundaries, to our clients, to our customers, to our friends, to our family, to ourselves, we communicate them to ourselves, write them down the hardest one, put it in your planner, it really is because we will we'll play by the rules for everybody else. But when it comes to us, we're like, Oh, it's fine. I'll just I'll just keep working, I'll keep doing. So it is about communicating those boundaries. And then when we do that, we feel better than ever. And then we're able to give our best selves to everyone around us. That is the best part. When we feel good. We are giving our best version of us to everyone. It's
Michelle Lynne 33:37
ridiculous because I can teach this until I'm blue in the face. But it really is hard for me to implement it sometimes. And it goes back to that future self person. Like, dammit, Michelle, like a year from now. Michelle, I need to talk to you
Tanya Dalton 33:50
hear from you. Michelle needs to have a conversation with you about exactly. That's the thing is you can do you can have a year from you, Michelle, write the letter to you now. Right? Yeah, that's another way to look at that letter. Right.
Michelle Lynne 34:03
Oh, girl, I've got some work to do. As soon as we stop recording. I got to work. Alright, so I love love, love to talk all things business and development related. I could sit here and talk to you for another hour, like easily Yeah, actually like multiple hours. But we're gonna we're gonna move into this next segment. It is called it's just rapid fire q&a. And it's just a very simple format to get to know you a little bit better. So the audience can hear more about you as a person in addition to the author and the entrepreneur, so nothing's off the table. Okay. See what questions come up today. All right, so we'll start off softball coffee or tea.
Tanya Dalton 34:46
Tea. I don't drink coffee at all, at all. Okay, for half Well, I know.
Michelle Lynne 34:55
I don't know how to respond to that. I just said I have three rehabs, but yeah. What kind of tea do you drink?
Tanya Dalton 35:03
I love a chai tea especially a chai tea latte in the morning. That's kind of my coffee replacement. Love. Yeah. Any any sort of tea?
Michelle Lynne 35:12
I love? Gotcha. I've tried haven't been able to stick with it. Okay, last movie you watched? Oh, I
Tanya Dalton 35:19
watched a documentary on Val Kilmer the other day, which was fascinating. I thought it would be really vapid. Like kind of self absorbed was really fascinating. I watched the trailer and was like, Oh, this is gonna be very different. So just interesting.
Michelle Lynne 35:30
Oh, note to self. How many siblings? Do you have? Two
Tanya Dalton 35:34
brothers. flavor. Oh, chocolate and peanut butter. If I can get that, especially as a milkshake.
Michelle Lynne 35:42
I'm getting. When was the last time you laughed until you peed yourself? Oh
Tanya Dalton 35:47
my gosh, probably. We have two kids. So there's not a lot of things. I love to laugh. I think that we should laugh every single day as business owners. I mean, my office, we're always laughing me and my team because if you don't laugh, sometimes you're gonna cry. So Exactly. How
Michelle Lynne 36:05
are we gonna put somebody in the throat?
Tanya Dalton 36:08
Maybe both?
Michelle Lynne 36:09
Yes. Yeah, we joke about that, too. It's like we take our business seriously, but we don't take ourselves seriously.
Tanya Dalton 36:15
Yes, I absolutely agree with that philosophy.
Michelle Lynne 36:18
It gives you so much more freedom to be the dork that I am. Yeah.
Tanya Dalton 36:21
And that's the thing is I went into business for myself so I could be me. And so why not be who I am with my team with my family with every like, just be yourself so much easier than
Michelle Lynne 36:31
being somebody else. wears me out, right? Yes, exhausting. When you were little What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Tanya Dalton 36:37
A teacher and I was a teacher for a while. That's how I started off life as a teacher. As a teacher. Boy, that's an elementary school teacher.
Michelle Lynne 36:44
God bless you.
Tanya Dalton 36:46
God bless pass me I'm like now
Michelle Lynne 36:50
survive that one. What's your favorite form of exercise? Pilates? When was the last time you took a nap? Yesterday? I take a nap every day. Yes, we could. Yes, we could. April.
Tanya Dalton 37:04
I mean, that is probably one of the biggest secrets to productivity, taking a nap and doing it guilt free.
Michelle Lynne 37:09
Is it a 10 minute power nap a 30 minute nap a two hour nap
Tanya Dalton 37:12
26. Or I call it a 26. Or it's actually based off of NASA that has done all this research into sleep. And if you do 26x 26 minutes of sleeping, it's enough to go deep into your REM and come back out. And you wake up refreshed. Not tired. So I set my timer for 26 minutes. I go lay down. It's perfect. Yeah.
Michelle Lynne 37:35
Can you fall asleep pretty quickly.
Tanya Dalton 37:37
I do. Foley I don't totally fall asleep. I put myself in the kind of that restful mode and loving Yeah, writing everyday because 20s I'm a big fan of naps. Yeah. And I am too. Yeah, I'm a big advocate for napping.
Michelle Lynne 37:53
It's beautiful. When I had a brick and mortar studio, my team would laugh at me because I just go sit on the couch. I'd close the windows don't like I'll be with you in a little bit. What do you do? Underrated. i Yeah, I'm right there with you. So what is your favorite color?
Tanya Dalton 38:12
Green, but
Michelle Lynne 38:14
I love to reverse. I can imagine that. introvert or extrovert? extrovert? cake or pie?
Tanya Dalton 38:21
Cake. But I do love a good pie. I like anything dessert. Yeah.
Michelle Lynne 38:27
Any of that? Exactly. Sweet. And like it's good. Okay, last question. Because we've had so much fun talking. I'd like to honor my audience's time. Last question is if you could have dinner with anybody who would the be the blue, but it wouldn't be the one person you would invite?
Tanya Dalton 38:45
That is a tough question. Because there's like a whole bank of people that you know, honestly, now knowing what I know, now, I probably would invite my grandfather, because he's been passed for for years. And he died like he lived. He lived very on purpose. And even his passing was very, very purposeful, and very. So just having a conversation with him now as an adult, knowing what I know now, I think would be incredibly powerful. I would absolutely love that. How
Michelle Lynne 39:16
many I'm sure he would really enjoy that as well. Just seeing the person that you've grown into. Sounds like it's in your blood.
Tanya Dalton 39:22
Yes, it is.
Michelle Lynne 39:25
Oh, Tanya, I have really enjoyed this question. This question. I've really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for being here. I know our audience has loved everything you shared. Will you let them know how or where they can connect with you, please? Yes.
Tanya Dalton 39:41
So the best place to really find me is Tanya dalton.com. You can find links to my books. They're both of books. I have links to that. I also have links to my podcast, the intentional advantage, and there's all kinds of information about me there So Tanya dalton.com is the best place to find me. You'll also find links to me on it. To gram and those kinds of places, but that's kind of my head. Awesome.
Michelle Lynne 40:03
And I will have all of that in the show notes so that our audience can just cruise on over there and find find all of that in case in case you're driving, don't stop to write this down. I've got you covered, we've got you covered. Okay, so for those of you who can benefit from even more resources surrounding the business of running your interior design business, join my growing community on my Facebook's on Facebook. Maybe I should have had more coffee, on my Facebook's private group. It's called the interior designers business Launchpad. I hop in there once a week and spend 1015 minutes just giving you guys some mini trainings. And then of course, if you're listening to this podcast, and you like what you're hearing, please leave a review. It definitely helps us find more search relevancy. If you don't like what you're hearing, you can email me directly. So until next time. Thanks again, Tanya,
Tanya Dalton 41:02
thank you so much for having me. This was great.
Michelle Lynne 41:06
Hey, y'all, if you love the show and find it useful, I would really appreciate it if you would share with your friends and followers. And if you like what you're hearing, want to put a face with a name and get even more business advice. Then join me in my Facebook group, the interior designers business launch pad. Yeah, I know it's Facebook, but just come on in for the training and then leave without scrolling your feet. It's fine. I promise you'll enjoy it. And finally, I hear it's good for business to get ratings on your podcast. So please drop yours on whatever platform you use to listen to this. We're all about community over competition. So let's work on elevating our industry, one designer at a time. See you next time.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
